The toxic female trend in the workplace that needs to be stopped

As a high -performance coach and organizational psychologist, I have seen all kinds of dynamics in the workplace.

But one of the most worrying is the successful women who run other women.

It is abrasive, often delicate and incredibly harmful. Ask women who have been in the conclusion of receiving harassment of women how it was felt, and the answer is often the same – “punch sucker”, “blind” and “side”.

They never saw him come.

Toxic friendships, especially among women, are more common than we understand. And here’s the hit – when female friendships go south, they often come with emotional complexes that make them more difficult to escape. That’s because we are connected for connection.

We expect kindness and friendship from other women. So when the creations of betrayal inside, they feel worse than when it comes from, to say, an acquaintance or even a romantic partner. The emotional number goes deep because we don’t expect it from another woman – we are sisters after all.

So why is it that the system can dry so quickly? Anthropologists and psychologists have long studied the aggression of women’s relationship, and some research suggests that competition between women can be traced to evolutionary instincts, territorial disputes, wars of social hierarchy, and even delicate forms of saboteurs. Whether toxicity stems from deep evolutionary instincts or just personal luggage, is not recommended in a harmful friendship – it is harmful.

If you have reached the point when the relationship is getting more than it is given, it is time to withdraw. Here’s:

• Accept reality – If a friendship is constantly letting you feel stressed or drained, this is a sign that is no longer serving you. If it’s a situation in the workplace, don’t explain what is happening. Face what is happening. Identify the type of toxicity that is – are those who do not respect or something worse like frequent and repeated harassment?

• Choose your approach -The friendships require a direct separation conversation. Others benefit from gradual distance. If it’s a job relationship, get strategically approach – consult a mentor, or if necessary, HR if it’s safe to do so.

• Set the clear boundaries – If you decide to speak, be strong and honest: “I don’t feel our friendship anymore is healthier for me, and I have to leave.”

At work it may not be so cut and dry, especially if it is a peer or your boss. I would advise to get support to come up with a strategy that maintains your health and does not end your career. Often when a woman removes another woman, it is a career restrictive action to call her. Look at how much support you will get from your workplace and if it’s worth the risk.

Maintain professionalism at all times.

• Bury your fault – The priority of your peace is not selfish. If leaving a toxic friendship means leaving a job, a social circle, or an environment that no longer serves you, so it is. At work, it is the same agreement but it must be managed differently. If you have to leave the organization because you cannot see a constructive way to remove yourself from the firing line of the toxic colleague, go out before you lose your faith and strength to follow better professional opportunities.

Finishing a toxic friendship is not an act of cruelty, it is an act of self-preservation. And when you finally leave, you create space for friendships that feel easier, knee and mutual lifters.

So here’s your memory. You need to set the terms of your relationship. You keep power. You write the script.

Vanessa vershaw is the author of the sister Paradox: the psychology of women’s aggression at work (publish $ 34.95). She is a high-performance elite psychologist in the workplace and a trusted adviser to the main leaders and decision makers of the ASX-20 companies and fortune 100 globally. Learn more at www.vanesavershaw.com/