Dear Abby: My ex-husband was found dead in his home three months of action. He was a bitter man who never forgave me. We were divorced for 30 years before his death and we have two children and four grandchildren. For years, he complained with bitterness for our children and refused to participate in special events because I left him. When there were problems, he refused to help, insisting it was my fault because I was left.
The truth is, I left after I went into her having sex with my older sister. None of them saw me, and I never told them. Now he is gone. My sister, who recently lost her husband, continues to talk to me about my ex-husband, saying how good he was. Makes me sick.
I loved my husband when I left it, but I could never forget it. I wish I had said something when he was alive, but it’s too late. Whenever my sister talks about her, I worry so much. I want to afford it for this, but I think it would do more harm than good. His death has turned my world overturned. I’m very confused. – injured at birth
Dear hurt: you MUST Have your former reason you left before you do it. I can’t imagine why you stayed silent. While some couples manage to move beyond infidelity, not much, and you have had a valuable reason for its separation.
The next time your sister starts talking for how good your ex was, do something you should have done for decades. Tell her what you’ve known for 30 years how attractive she found because you put them on them in flagrant, that’s why you walked OUTSIDE. I don’t see anything to be acquired by not talking at this point except more pain and unrest for yourself.
Dear Abby: Three decades of action, my husband and I were a military couple set overseas in a distant duty. I was raped by another officer, but I was very scared to report it. I got pregnant, and to date, I can’t really say if my baby is my husband or a consequence of rape.
I love my precious son very much, but I looked at him for 33 years praying that he is the son of my wonderful husband. I finally shared the stress of my secret with a military doctor 10 years ago and was greatly helped by his answer. So far.
My son is interesting in DNA tests, and I’m terrified my secret will be exposed. I’m not ready to share this with my husband or my son. I do not want my life to be separated as I enter the 70th year and the 37th year of marriage. Please advise. – Anonymous wife and mother
Dear Anonymous: Search your current doctor for a confidential referral to a doctor with a specialty in DNA paternity. Consult the person, explain the circumstances and ask if it would be possible to present your husband’s DNA and your son for examination. Taking DNA can be as simple as collecting a toothbrush or a dining tool, the person is used.
If it turns out that your son is not your husband, I am advising to tell the two of what happened to you so that they do not write that you were an unbeliever. What happened to you was not your fault.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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