Dear Abby: I was sexually abused as my mother -in -law would not stop to the waist for this

Dear Abby: I was sexually abused as a child. Because of this, as an adult woman, I have issues about touching. I’ve had therapy, and I’m doing much better, but I’m still uncomfortable with physical contact. I just ask people to ask me before they touch me, and I usually agree.

The matter is my mother -in -law. She refuses to ask before she touches me and often draws me in unwanted hugs or comes out after me. I’ve explained to her about my story, so she knows why I want her to ask me first, but she removes it and says she won’t hurt me. Once she said, “? Seed? Do you think I will attack you?” No, I don’t think she will attack me. This issue has to do with me, not that, but she doesn’t understand it.

My husband throws his hands and refuses to be included, as he hates to enter the middle. How can I make her realize that I need her to ask before putting my hands on me? – Protective in Illinois

Dear Protective: Tell your mother -in -law once again, when you are both calm, that because of your abuse story you do not want to be touched without first asking. If she says, “Do you think I will attack you?” Your answer should be, “this is this PreciseLy how it feels! It feels like I’m being attacked. Do not! “If it does it after that, then, in my opinion, you have every right to protect yourself.

PS your man’s wimp should be there during this conversation.

Dear Abby: I always considered my eternal friend “Mary” be mine best We are now friend in the mid -50s and live in different countries, but we have always stayed in touch. When she comes to visit, she stays with me. I sometimes take it to the airport, and give it my room invited to stay inside. I’ve never asked her money. I’m single. Everything was finally; We enjoyed each other’s company.

I recently asked Mary if I could stay in her home (just overnight) and explain that I wouldn’t mind sleeping on the sofa. She said she couldn’t have me even one night because she has a small apartment, no guest room and is married. I felt hurt because I never expected her refusal, especially the “I’m married” part because it has included it doesn’t trust me with her husband around. Honestly, I was sneaky and speechless.

I still love Mary, but I can’t overcome what she said. Am I too sensitive? I cry for this whenever I remember. – jumps into Puerto Riko

Dear dumped: Your friend told you she has no home; She lives in a small apartment. It can be a bedroom or studio. Instead of implying that you can come to her husband, she may have been trying to convey to her abbreviated state that he is not open to sleeping a guest on their bed. I know you are disappointed, but stop getting this personal. When you visit, you will get the full picture.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.