Dear Abby: I have a friend-benefit situation-with a married man

Dear Abby: I have had a relationship with the benefits gained by a man with a man I will call “Find”. We are both in the 1970s. He lives an hour away, and we see each other once a month. Gene is married, but his wife is disabled and their relationship has been discovered. We used to work together, and he was very lonely when I met him. Gene feels responsible for his wife and will never leave him, which is finally with me. I’m not interested in a full -time girlfriend.

My willing is, if my two adult children were to learn about it, they would be very judgmental. I know it would hurt my relationship with them. On the other hand, I do not want to live my life according to their conditions. What do you think of all this? – Happy but anxious, in Florida

Happy dear: I think at the age of 70 you are mature enough to make your decisions. I also think you need to be strong enough to protect them if the need arises. Because you are living in their feeling eventually revealing that you are satisfied with your relationship with gene, it would be better for you to tell them yourself.

Dear Abby: A few months ago, I discovered that my adult child is transgender. No one knows yet except me, my husband and my other child. By this year, I have always worked in a very careful, loving and supportive environment. Recently, I heard a new male collaborator saying in a raised voice, “I’m transgender! I’m transgender!” As he rotated in circles and was developing a scarf around his head. I was on the floor.

I wanted to say something about him being inappropriate and harmful, but I was speechless. I’ve never encountered this kind of behavior before. How can I treat this if something similar happens again? My child is not ready for the world to know, so I have to be careful. I’m kicking myelf not to talk at the time. – Regret in Midwest

Dear evil: It is so unfortunate that transgender people (who make up less than 1% of the population) are being sculpted by ignorant, poorly informed individuals. Disorder of gender identity is not contagious. Trans people are a danger to anyone and they do not deserve to be ridiculed. The next time this happens (and may be), do not be ashamed to say your associate that what you are doing is inappropriate and harmful and not to do it again before you.

Dear Abby: You have printed many letters from women living with men of death beats. I wish you would write about the benefits of living alone and not need a man in your life to feel. – Only and content in Massachusetts

Dear A & C: Everyone that I print on men of the “beat of death” (and their female equivalents) is an object lesson in itself. Writers are overloaded, frustrated and miserable. I can’t think of a stronger message to send readers than those in those letters, which talk about topics. No one is at all better than the one who is a user.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.