Dear Abby: I’m married for 22 years. It was a normal relationship and I was very happy. However, over the past 12 years, my wife has changed. There is a zero love, no hugs, hands holding and nothing sexual.
We are like roommates. She blames what was harassed when she was a child. Our level of intimacy was normal for 10 years.
I have advised stuck but she refuses. Bottom Line: Should I stay, or should I go? I’m 64 years old, and that’s my second marriage. I don’t want to start again. – Hungry in Indiana
Dear Hungry: Ask your wife if she has ever received counseling after she had been mistreated. If she did, she needs more.
However, if she did not, then is the time to explain to her that for the last 12 years, she has hung you out of human love and contact, and you do not intend to live the rest of your life in this way. Then offer her a choice: counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce. You may not want to start, but you may need.
Dear Abby: I brought my dad with madness to my house. My husband has heart issues. We are all in each other’s throat all the time. My brothers promised that they would help take care of our father, but they have not helped at all.
Every time they can take it for a few hours, but then it is back. Don’t wrong me, I love my dad. But we can really use more help, though I feel guilty by looking for it. Should I feel like that? I mean, they are also his children. – Forced to Kentucky
Dearly forced: I hope you understand that you may have brought this situation over yourself, and it is up to you to do something about it. You said you feel guilty looking for your sisters and sisters for more help by taking care of your father.
Lose that guilty feeling! they be Even his children, but they are not readers of the mind. Tell them what you need, and if it’s more time for yourself and your sick husband, don’t worry about saying so.
Dear Abby: My husband bought me a beautiful diamond ring for our 35th anniversary. People often ask how much it costs and why we would spend it. I know I don’t have to explain myelf, and I try to be polyte.
We both work, we are without debt and we don’t worry anyone. What is the right way to answer questions like this? – Gal Diamond in Massachusetts
Dear Diamond Gal: You are correct. You are not forced to disclose personal financial information, so stop doing it. There is no end to the personal questions that people ask these days. If someone asks how much your ring costs or why you would spend it too much money, just answer, “you know, it’s a very personal question, and I’m really not happy with it.” Then change the topic.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby on Dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, Ca 90069.
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