Dear Abby: My husband had a connection with my sister – now she’s back in town

Dear Abby: My late husband and I got married for 38 years when we finally went to marriage counseling. I learned then that he had slept with my sister early in our marriage. I had suspected that he would also have an affair with his uncle’s wife. (They were very close to age.) This too was confirmed in counseling.

My sister was recently at home because of our mother’s health, and it was a struggle to be in the same hospital room with her. As for the next gal, there are some occasional families that I avoid because of it.

I need help. How can I deal with this after all these years? – Still not over it

Dear not on it: Get your life again. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Tell your sister and the other woman you know they slept with your husband. And, in the other family, tell the rest of your relatives why you avoided them all before you get meetings so that they don’t think they were the reason.

Dear Abby: There is a woman at work I am attracted to, but I’m tired of rejecting. She is very conversational with me and asks me questions of questions, but when I came to her, I’m opposed. She says she has a girlfriend. Not sure why she is so friendly with me, but I think I’m receiving mixed messages.

In our work, we must occasionally work side by side, and when that happens, I am conflicted if it will open or close. Maybe I should ask if she still has a girlfriend and, if she does, the community for the task in question. Empty conversation is getting uncomfortable because I want something more. What is the best course of action? – next to her in New Jersey

Dear next to her: Asking her again if she still has a girlfriend wouldn’t be out of line. However, if her answer is yes, forget nothing more than a hearty work relationship because not every attraction is mutual. Focus on work while you are there, and look elsewhere for romance after hours.

Dear Abby: I met this lady for three months. She wanted to stroll to engage in a relationship before having sex. We had limited time to see each other – Friday, Saturday and Sundays. We would go out and return to her country and be very passionate, though we did not have sex because of her religious beliefs.

Now she has decided not to follow a relationship with me because she didn’t feel the “flame” of a relationship with me. After all this kiss, hugging and approaching sex occasionally, how could she feel that way? Did I play? – completely confused in Texas

Dear confused: Give Mrs. Marx to be honest if she can’t return your fragrance. Depending on what she was getting out of the relationship besides kissing, hugging and passion, if you are played is a question alone you can answer.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.dearabby.com or Yes Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.